Mum Knows Best
Or Does She?
There’s a lot of pressure with kids these days for parents to get everything perfect. Relax, the good parent fails and everything will turn out ok, No one knows best.
Mum Knows Best – Responsibility
One of the things you can do that is indisputable and of huge benefit for all is this
Give your kids more control over their own lives, this is without a doubt one of the most important things you can do. Responsibility breeds confidence and the feeling of autonomy is empowering for children.
It shows you trust them to make their own decisions, now you, of course, need to lead a little
Mum Knows Best – Consultant
We’re not talking handing over complete control here. As parents you give guidance, explain the negatives and positives in the different choices available. The ultimate decision should be the kids, and of course, a five-year-old will require a different approach than a hormonal teenager.
The evidence is in and the same applies to kids with ADHD and the wide range of disorders that are ever increasing.
Mum Knows Best – Anxiety Made Worse
It may feel like the right thing to do to protect kids with anxiety a little more than is usual. This can be the single worse thing you can do. It’s well studied, documented and agreed in virtually every profession worth its salt. That over protecting children with anxiety leads to far worse anxiety that can lead to depression and worse.
Overprotecting kids can cause anxiety as it can be interpreted by the child as mistrust. They feel they have no control which is a huge contributing factor to anxiety and depression
Mum Knows Best – Lack Of Control
Think about it, when you feel you have little control over external circumstances it’s somewhat worrying, even frightening. Now think how a ten-year-old or a fifteen-year-old feel. They are going through important brain development stages. They are fantastic at noticing behaviours and such things as control by parents but they are terrible at interpreting them.
Now add the amygdala response feeding cortisol into the system as they feel a lack of control, all this during serious brain development stages.
Mum Knows Best – Don’t Panic
Don’t steal responsibility from them, you won’t be around forever. Or worse, you will be.
“They come to this planet through you, though they are not …….” your’s”
They own their own lives, their problems are their own, control is an illusion.
If this subject fascinates you as much as it does me then here is a great book, to begin with