Brave kids, It’s less common to hear these days but an old known fact “Make them brave, not safe” is making a come back.
Brave Kids- The Law
UTAH in the US has just passed a new law making it legal for parents to allow their kids out alone.
Let me repeat that. It’s now legal in UTAH to allow your kids to walk to school or play out on their own.
Why I hear you ask was it ever illegal?
The last few decades we have been guilty of wrapping our kids in cotton wool and its having negative social effects as well as mental health effects.
I’ll be writing in more depth about that this year as ive been deep in study covering this subject and i have a lot to say.
Brave Kids – Illusions?
Making kids safe is an illusion or at best massively misunderstood. For example, why did injuries in car accidents go up when baby seats were made law?
It is of course instinctive to make them safe but we do it at a cost. I’m not talking taking stupid risks here. Wear a helmet on your bike and be sensible, but take risks, you have to take risks.
We have thousands of stories and classic literature warning us of the dangers of the overbearing parent. There are fantastic tales with archetypal characters that represent the human psyche. The world is full of these stories, from Disney to Buddhism the warnings are there.
Brave Kids – Build them
So finally in UTAH, parents can let their children walk to school without being arrested. This shouldn’t be news, this shouldn’t be happening. The fact that it is, happens to be both good and bad. Good its happening, bad it ever was.
I wouldn’t normally post an advert, I despise most marketing (except my own) but this video has a great message
How Gradings Work – At Function First Martial Arts
Every now and then a student will ask about gradings. Or why there are people in an advanced group and they are not. We figure if one is asking then many more are thinking the same. So we feel we’re not getting the message across well enough.
Heres an attempt to address that
How Gradings Work – Process
Grades are every three months
Year 1 = Yellow – Red – Orange – Green Grades
Year 2 = Blue and above grades
Little Vipers age 5-8. This is nice and simple, we don’t pressure the kids at this age too much. Vipers need to complete twelve classes, so once a week between grades.
Cadets aged 9-14.
Year one is like the little vipers. Once a week meaning twelve classes between grades is sufficient.
Year 2. Now we ramp up the pressure a little. In year two cadets really need to be training twice a week and averaging 24 classes between grades. Kids who train once a week at this level struggle to retain the information so we grade them every 6-9 months. Unfortunately they fall behind a little, and this often develops into a defeatist attitude. They often seem to lose interest and leave. If we look at all our year three cadets virtually 100% of them train two or more times a week. Those who stick with it the longest are the ones who experience the growth and benefits.
Adults. All adult classes require a minimum of 2 classes a week to grade.
It is worth pointing out that those that train twice a week develop the skills at a much faster rate than those who train once a week. We have some kids that train 6 hours a week and compete, I think it goes without saying. Their confidence and attitude are unlike other kids of their age. They are formidable capable young people who walk shoulders back and head held high.
How Gradings Work – What counts?
Class attendance is important as it develops good habits. Though this alone is not enough, we grade on attitude and work ethic.
In year one for all our students, we are fairly relaxed. We want you to figure out if this is something you wish to take seriously. The work becomes more complex in year two and one class a week is no longer sufficient to remember the work.
Now we understand that some simply cannot make it in more than once a week. If it’s other hobbies getting in the way or were getting in the way of other hobbies. Then we advise picking one and studying deep as the benefits are profound if you allow them to be.
Of course one hour a week is better than none, though two hours a week is a 100% improvement. Twice the growth in a year, well actually it’s like compound interest. It exponentially develops so you end up accelerating your learning at a much faster rate over time.
Exactly the same as if you put £100 a week into a savings account and I put £200 in. After one year I would have more than double because of interest, over time this makes a massive difference.
A £10,000 investment with a 20% return each month over 3 years earns you over £20,000,000 yes 20 million pounds.
Martial arts repetitions are exactly the same.
How Gradings Work – Don’t grade?
So if you don’t grade then you stay in year one of our syllabus and repeat the same work. This, of course, is fine, it just means you never get to progress to the more complex work and close quarter clinch work of the kickboxing for example.
Once you have completed all four grades you move into the next group and cover the more advanced work from the syllabus.
Its an old cliche but there is some truth to it. Jack of all trades master of none.
Master one and you have insight into the self that others do not. You grasp concepts and see patterns that give you an edge in life.
Self Defence Lincoln The Un Real Deal – We hear it all the time
If you train self-defence then you have heard this a million times
“My self-defence is the most realistic”
“Insert system here, is the best self-defence there is”
Self Defence Lincoln The Un Real Deal – Question
So yours is the best, exactly how many systems have you trained in and how do you actually decide?
It’s like every coffee shop in the world has the poster in the window
Its true i tell you
Self Defence Lincoln The Un Real Deal – Tested
So every other sport pretty much has a league or a title belt or a gold medalist etc. We have measurement systems in place to decide what actually is or who is the best in the world and it’s as good as it gets currently. Like it or not there are winners and losers and there are ultimate champions and to take that belt, the trophy from them you have to beat them.
Self Defence Lincoln The Un Real Deal – Be nice
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not dissing other systems. I love most of the other arts that are about, I’ve trained in many. Though when i hear thee statements, it’s like saying “I have the greatest toenail clipping system in the world, I’m the best there is” It sort of means nothing in the grand scheme of things.
Self Defence Lincoln The Un Real Deal – Enjoyment
If you are enjoying the training, breaking a sweat and having fun then you’re onto a good thing. Building friendships and camaraderie are important and much lacking as adults.
So don’t try to measure the unmeasurable, be happy your active and humble
If you really want to find out what works simply apply to compete in “name an art” and see how you do, win or lose it’s all good.
There are a few tools you can use to help control heart rate. Here are 2.
Meditation – This can help to not get caught up in the emotion. Meditation is an amazing tool to develop mental strength. You see your thoughts and you recognise you are not thinking them. You then develop the skill to not attach to them. Stress levels can go through the roof when confronted by an opponent or a threat. To focus and calm the mind with skills developed through meditation gives you a huge advantage
Sparring – This is sort of obvious though there are a few schools of thought on this. We basically work like this. 100 training sessions are light technical sparring and 1 session is tough intense sparring. So we operate a 100/1 ratio in our sparring classes. This helps develop the skills needed to spar safely and build confidence. After that its simply more time on the mats sparring, keeping that ego in check. Not getting too stressed and overwhelmed.
We hope this was helpful, in the end there are no shortcuts. More time on the mats surrounded by the right people builds confidence. This helps with stress levels and this improves not only combat but in all of life when mastered.
Self Defence Classes Lincoln – Realistic Self Defence
So what is realistic self-defence and who says it’s so?
I hope we would all agree that self-defence for the modern day street is not the same as it was 300 years ago. Basic combat principles remain I believe but the society has shifted somewhat over the century’s as has the environment.
Martial arts have evolved over the centuries and in the last few years with the emergence of MMA some would argue that they have evolved more in the last 10 years than in the previous 300. Like I say, some would argue so keep your lid on.
Self Defence Classes Lincoln
I myself have been studying self-defence for many years now and most of that journey was alongside the founders of the now dissolved Keysi Fighting Method. They were amazing years and the training answered the questions I had based upon my experiences of street fight’s, shootings and knife attacks during that time in my life. Many of you who know me or have read my articles in Martial Arts Illustrated or followed my blogs know some of my story.
Self Defence Classes Lincoln
Now what became apparent to me some years ago was with the rising popularity of MMA your average person studying Martial Arts was becoming proficient very quickly. The MMA style of training meant that the work was pressure tested on a daily basis. As I became more involved in MMA and organised our own shows and attending others I also saw a new breed of fighter. Some of those training and competing in MMA were fighting on shows on a regular basis. Some even competing Friday and then Saturday on another show. Back to work Monday and the gym Monday night, next weekend do it all again. One guy who competed on our show jumped out of the cage, put on his shirt and went to work like he’d just been to the gym on a treadmill.
Now I’ve always known there are people out there who just love to fight, that’s not my point. What I noticed is there are now lots of people out there who love to fight and can fight, and the numbers are growing rapidly.
Self Defence Classes Lincoln
During the following years I trained and studied with good friend Tony Davis in MMA. When I started teaching MMA it was purely for the sport application and the love for competition. What I also realised was I developed a much healthier outlook on life and my training due to the style of training and the humbling experience of failing a lot on the mats and getting tapped out repeatedly. Remember I came from a pretty hardcore lifestyle, living with the travelling community for over 20 years. Involved in serious violent situations for many years then straight into KFM. There ensued years of hardcore realistic study of how to smash and destroy everyone and everything. That’s all I did, I had no job and plenty of time. All I did was train and study violence and violent people after living with them for so long I guess you could say there wasn’t much Yin In my Yang. Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome but now at my age? I guess I’m chilling out a little.
Self Defence Classes Lincoln
Over the years as my skills developed and my ability grew I became disillusioned with the pure self defence style. I began to notice areas especially the ground that were seriously underdeveloped and not understood
When does pain meet its limits? At what point does causing pain to your opponent fail you?
Simple, when it doesn’t hurt them, from my own experience pain doesn’t really play a part in the fight when it’s for real. I have been beaten unconscious by a gang of men before, I woke up fighting and got beat unconscious again. I felt nothing.
Experiences like that and then my study of the arts confirmed my beliefs, you need to understand how to deal with people who are bigger, stronger and do not feel pain and the only way other than the cop out eye gouge argument or use a weapon is. Learn BJJ or no gi or wresting etc.
Do not misunderstand that last statement; I do not believe BJJ or any other ground-based sport to be adequate for multiple attack situations. If that were true then pure BJJ guys would dominate the MMA scene without studying other striking arts. What I am saying is ground movement from these arts is essential to become a well rounded fighter
We have also all heard the stories or seen the footage of BJJ guys tapping out much larger opponents over and over. Not down to brute force or strength or relying on pain (much) but through superior posture and structure and securing position with incredible movement and technique.
As I’m always being told by my grappling coach. “Position before submission” well the same applies to applying devastating strikes on the ground. Secure the position first, otherwise there gone.
Self Defence Classes Lincoln
I always came across the same response from people in the self-defence world when I posed question like.
“If you don’t know putting your arm in the wrong place means your opponent will break it in seconds. “
“Yeah but that’s sport and were street and if he does an armbar in the street he’s an idiot because blah blah blah.”
“Yes I reply, but he’s an idiot who just snapped your arm because you gave it to him due to lack of knowledge”
“We don’t study the sport because its sport” was the answer. Even worse on many occasions I was told “They need to worry about us, not the other way around”
Self Defence Classes Lincoln – Delusion
It was such a deluded mind-set and arrogant. I’d watch people putting themselves in compromising situations where even a novice fighter would snap an arm or choke them out in seconds, over and over again without realising it. But everything is ok because we don’t have rules so we can do what we want seemed to be the ultimate answer to everything.
We have all met or heard this I believe“I don’t train the ground because I don’t fall down, I don’t go to the ground”
Now we all know this is delusional beyond belief, I mean you are in fact a walking miracle if you have never fallen over in your life. Saying we don’t study this or that because its sport is no different and if you find your self thinking that or being taught that, get out of there or keep a clear mind and cross train.
I loved my pure self defence years, they were crazy and intense and I learnt so much, my life changed for the better and I regret nothing. I do now realise something now though. Self defence answered my questions in the beginning, answers to some life threatening situations and violence, but it stopped answering them in certain areas like the ground. As I became a more proficient fighter and I saw the modern day martial artist and street thug adopt a new style of training and pressure testing it daily, fighting for fun, for real and regular.
The enemy is changing and your style of training needs to keep up with what’s out there. If its art for art’s sake then good for you and whatever makes you happy. But if you’re studying for reality then the question should be.
What is reality?
Do some research, talk to door supervisors to see what common changes they have seen in the last few years. Watch CCTV footage from the many streaming sites out there. Think about a 20 year old juiced up young man who from the age of 12 has been following UFC, fights for his local club, trains hard and loves to ruk on a Saturday night on the streets if he’s not got a legal fight. Ask yourself, really honestly do you believe in your training? Now there are 2 of them and they mean it, do you still believe in your training?
Now all that being said, have some fun and get more from your art than just kicking and punching.
Even before the UFC popularized footage of men using martial arts techniques to bloody their opponents, the idea that martial arts might promote violence has been a major concern for people looking to get involved in kickboxing. It made sense to believe that in educating their students on how to punch and kick effectively, martial arts instructors would be implicitly teaching that violent behavior is acceptable and that being skillful at hurting others is even praiseworthy. Some parents and teachers worry that children who train in martial arts will be encouraged to use the harmful techniques they learn to hurt and bully other children. This long-held belief has prompted multiple studies on the effect that training martial arts can have on the aggressiveness of young children, and the results of these studies may surprise you.
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Instead of showing martial arts to have a negative effect on the violent tendencies of children, studies have consistently pointed to a reduced, rather than a raised, level of violence among children who train in these kinds of combat sports. One of the first studies carried out on the effect that martial arts training has on aggression was performed in 1981 by Dr. Nosanchuk. This researcher found, much to his surprise, that the longer a person had been training martial arts, the less aggressive they tended to be towards others. [i] This study was followed in 1986 by a study entitled “Martial Arts Training: A Novel “Cure” for Juvenile Delinquency,” By Michael E Trulson. Which concluded that the traditional elements of the martial arts training, including meditation, philosophy, an emphasis on respect, and memorized forms called katas, had a positive effect on at-risk youth who might otherwise be prone to aggression.
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The study demonstrated, among other things, that students who participated in the traditional martial art of Taekwondo for six months showed “decreased aggressiveness, lowered anxiety, increased self-esteem, [and] increased social adroitness” in comparison with students who participated in a regular exercise program that did not include martial arts training. The students in the exercise program, in fact, showed no significant improvement when it came to reducing their aggressive behaviors or increasing their self-esteem and social skills.
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Based on the results of the aforementioned studies and multitude of other research papers on the topic, some elementary schools have recently attempted to implement martial arts training as part of their school curriculum to try and cut down on the amount of bullying among their students. A 2008 study analyzing the results of one such program confirmed some of the earlier conclusions made about martial arts classes in previous articles. This study, entitled, “Effects of Participation in a Martial Arts- Based Ant bullying Program,” showed that third to fifth-year boys who participated in more sessions of their schools’ martial arts-based anti-bullying program were reported to have a lower frequency of aggressive behaviour as well as a higher frequency of helpful behaviour towards victims of bullying. The study attributed this change in the boys’ behavior to the way these classes taught “empathy, self-control, and peaceful strategies to resolve conflicts.
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It is natural for young boys to exhibit an increased level of aggression as they get older, but martial arts can help eliminate some of the more negative forms of aggression by providing an appropriate outlet for the children’s anger and hostility. Instead of hitting classmates on the playground or getting into fights with their siblings, growing boys can redirect their feelings of aggression by hitting punching bags or sparring with classmates in a controlled manner. Sparring with other martial arts students may seem to encourage peer violence in an age group that is already prone to hostile behaviour, but according to Jamie Seabrook author of “Martial Arts Revealed, Benefits, Problems Solutions” “When an instructor emphasizes respect and courtesy towards his students, sparring actually teaches students self-control and humility. Students learn to not swing wildly but to hit with only limited contact.”
In other words, martial arts helps students to become masters of their own natural aggressive tendencies by teaching them how to handle their bodies in a controlled manner. Having better body awareness and a sense of control over their own aggression helps students to eliminate inappropriate violence towards others.
Kickboxing Classes Lincoln
Kickboxing classes Lincoln can also help reduce violence among children by instilling a sense of confidence in them. Children often fight because they want to feel powerful or prove themselves in some way. Being able to command and manipulate other children through aggression and intimidation helps young boys especially to feel more in control of their surroundings when they are suffering from feeling helpless or weak. Very often, however, this kind of violent behavior only serves to decrease the confidence of the victim of the aggressive child without significantly increasing his own. Training in combat sports, on the other hand, increases a child’s level of confidence by increasing his awareness of his inner power and strength and providing him with skills that make him feel safer and more in control of his own person.
This prevents the child from feeling the need to get into fights with other children in order to mask an underlying sense of insecurity or powerlessness. When children gain empowerment through martial arts, they become better equipped to avoid their “tense, defensive reactions to pressure and conflict which so often only create more violence” and to walk away from conflict instead of further aggravating a situation. This renewed sense of self-control and confidence, therefore, decreases a child’s tendency towards violence and teaches him to step away from his habit of fighting to direct his energy towards more worthwhile pursuits.
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Hopefully, now that you have seen the evidence, you are convinced that martial arts training does not lead to the increased levels of aggression that some have mistakenly associated with it. But along with ensuring that your child does not hurt others, you also want to make sure that he is not going to hurt himself. A common misconception parents tend to have about martial arts classes is that they have a high rate of injury and are therefore dangerous for children to participate in. When parents envision children punching and hitting each other in class, it is understandable that they become worried about their children’s safety, but the reality is that children are much more likely to hurt themselves while rollerblading than they are by participating in a martial arts class. In 2003, the Scottish Medical Journal published an article in which they analyzed the number of sports injuries seen in children in the Accident & Emergency Department of a certain hospital over a three-month period of time.
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According to this article, a large majority of the sports injuries observed were obtained by children while playing football or rollerblading, with rugby, basketball, and school physical education also causing a fair amount of damage.[vi] Out of the two hundred thirty-eight sport-related injuries treated at the hospital during the time frame of the study, only two per cent were a result of martial arts training. This is less than half the amount of injuries that occurred as a result of ice skating or cycling, both of which are activities that most parents would feel completely comfortable allowing their children to participate in.
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Children training in organized martial arts programs are under the strict supervision of their sensei and his or her assistants, and in striking sports, they are usually required to wear protective gear that helps prevent injury. A retrospective study done on children and adolescents who participated in a karate class found that of the sixty-eight students surveyed, none had received injuries critical enough to inhibit their participation in the class for any period of time. Twenty-eight per cent of these students sustained some kind of minor injury while training, but these injuries consisted mostly of bruises with only a few students obtaining minor sprains and strains.[vii] The conclusion of this study was that karate is a safe sport for children to participate in as long as the proper protective equipment is worn and the children are adequately supervised.
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The perceived violence and danger of martial arts have also added to another misconception about the sport, which is that it is not an activity for girls. The idea is that because girls are not naturally as aggressive as boys, they will not be interested in a sport that involves punching, kicking, and wrestling. This mentality has unfortunately prevented many girls from becoming involved in an activity that has as many, if not more, benefits for them as it has for their male peers. Parents tend to enroll their sons in martial arts classes more frequently than their daughters, and even when girls do participate in combat
[i] Nosanchuk, T. A. (1981). The way of the warrior: The effects of traditional martial arts training on aggressiveness. Human Relations, 34, 435 – 444.
[ii] Trulson, M. E. (1986). Martial arts training: A novel “cure” for juvenile delinquency. Human Relations, 39, 1131 – 1140.
[iii] Twemlow, S., Biggs, B., Nelson, T., Vernberg, E., and Fonagy, P. (2008). Effects of participation in a martial arts–based antibullying program in elementary schools, Psychology in the Schools 45(10), 947-959.
[iv] Seabrook, Jamie A. Martial Arts Revealed: Benefits, Problems, and Solutions. New York: IUniverse, Inc, 2003.
[v] Aikido Association of America. “About Us.” 2010. http://www.aaa-aikido.com/aboutus.htm
[vi]Boyce, Stephan and Quigley, Micheal. “An Audit Of Sports Injuries In Children Attending An Accident & Emergency Department.” SMJ 2003 48(3): 88-90 http://smj.org.uk/0803/sport.htm
[vii] Zetaruk, M N, M A. Violan, D Zurakowski, and L J. Micheli. “Karate Injuries in Children and Adolescents.” Accident Analysis and Prevention. 32.3 (2000).
Martial Arts Lessons Ive learnt on the mats that have had a profound effect on my life
Martial Arts Lessons 1/ Emotion
Learning to control my emotion on the mats has had profound effects off the mats in my daily life. When sparring and your opponent has the better of you there are two major choices 1/ Get mad and respond with anger or 2/ Stay calm, work out how you got there and try not to let it happen again. When you have been training this for years it’s second nature. Instead of reacting to every drama out there, you see things with a new calm perspective
Now simply apply this martial art lesson to arguments, Facebook attacks, finances and so on.
Martial Arts Lessons 2/ Debate – Go ahead punk, change my mind
When I walk onto the mats I’m an open book, ready to learn, unlearn and relearn. If you’re tapping me out I’m not just resisting the truth and denying whats happening. I’m listening to whats happening and how it happened and I’m learning to adapt and evolve my game. This means accepting new ideas and ways of doing things.
Now transfer this martial art lesson into your next Facebook argument or debate with a friend. Do not enter like a politician firmly fixed and immovable forever defending your idea. Let a better idea take over, adopt it, grow and evolve. Enter with this mindset “Go ahead punk, change my mind”
Martial Arts Lessons 3/ Living in the past
When rolling in Ju Jitsu and ive taken my opponent to the mat with a leg reap. There is a point I need to let go and let gravity and the energy do its thing. If I hold on in some cases it makes it much worse for me, I’m living in the past, I should have let go. There are times when we need to hold onto the past and times to let go. One can lead us to submitting our opponent with a beautiful armbar and one can lead us into being arm barred. Know when to let go.
Living in the past can be like walking through treacle, it’s sometimes useful of course though many stay attached to negative emotions for many many years, learn to let go.
Martial Arts Lessons 4/ Goal setting – Motivation
Having goals helps measure growth in skills and performance as well as something to aim for. Martial arts gradings are a series of goals structured over a 25 year plus syllabus. The early stages are every three months giving students clear goals and skills to develop. This, in turn, motivates people to achieve set goals and builds the habits of virtually every successful person on this planet.
Martial Arts Lessons 5/ Here Now
Martial arts helps develop a mind that remains present, focused and sharp. When performing high-intensity sparring or pad drills, you are forced to stay in the moment. A momentary lapse and drift into whats on TV later will lead to a short sharp shock in the form of a glove on your nose. You can have a truly awful day, stress, work, finances etc. When you get on those mats the world melts away and you are in the moment, all that exists is right here right now.
Life is like a sausage machine, you get out what you put in.
So after 8 weeks of gruelling training, 40 fighters stepped into the ring and boxed it out for charity
This is our (Function First’s) seventh event working with the UWCB crew and as always it’s been an amazing experience
The event at Deans leisure centre on Monks Rd in Lincoln was, as always a sellout event and from 6 pm to 10 pm we had 20 fights. Some people had never put a pair of gloves on prior to training with us, which is a fantastic achievement.
This event the fighters raised nearly £10,000 for Cancer Research UK meaning UWCB is the largest donor to the charity. At Lincoln alone, we have raised over £50,000 in the last couple of years and nationwide over £8.000.000 YEP 8 Million pounds
The next UWCB event begins in July with fight night early September so get signed up if your interested
Massive respect to all those who took part, some life changing moments for sure
So it’s common to hear martial arts coaches to claim its more than punching and kicking and it is, of course true. Though the usual examples of weight loss, fitness, confidence and so on are really default benefits that happen regardless in most cases.
When we coach at Function First we have a philosophy of “Off The Mats As On The Mats”
Multidisciplinary Synthesis: Their thinking process involves linking different ideas from different disciplines. It’s valuable because most of today’s problems are solved by applying not only one branch of knowledge. A tip: read more to build a lattice work of mental models.
Now this is is a huge area so in this blog we will briefly cover our time and attitude coaching method
The Stuff Winners Are Made Of
So the average Function First Adult member trains 4 hours a week so let’s look at 1 class or 1 hour of training and break it down
Train passive pad feeding and your already down to 30 minutes training in that hour
Now add drink breaks, take off 5 minutes, now down to 25 minutes in that class
Now add changing pads and gloves over, another 5 minutes. Now down to 20 minutes
Now when coach says lets go, you smile and say a few words to your partner and another 5 mins of training gone chatting. Now down to 15 minutes
Toilet breaks, coaching talk time, arriving late and on we go
Add it all up and its scary, with a sloppy mindset in one hours training you could actually be doing 10 to 15 minutes actual hard work
With a fighters mindset you make every second count, that of an engineer building a bridge over a 1 mile river. You know, 1mm out at the start and by the time you reach the end you fall into the river.
Time management and attitude can mean more than you think.
Be that person who turns up early, starts hitting the pads immediately, pad feeds like you are fighting, and keep the mind in the arena.
This way you can treble what others in the same class are doing.
Thats the secret to getting ahead, you both travel to get there, you both spend the same time on the mats but one of you does 3 times the work.
Remember practice does not make perfect but perfect practice does
Now think this… They do 1 year’s training and with applied mind in the same time you do 3 years
Now think this… They do 10 years and in the same time you do 30 years
This is where mastery is hidden
This is how we teach our kids and adults to get ahead in the world, not just on the mats
Now Apply Off The Mats As On The Mats
Anything you care about or value, apply this mindset to it, kids, relationships, listening, finance, sport, nutrition, health and so on
You decide, leave this earth having given something your best shot.